12 Distinctions Between Single Living and Other Lifestyles
Because living alone deviates from the acknowledged and recognized typical lifestyles of living with spouses, partners, children, and extended family, we at Solo Living concentrate on discussing the experience of living alone.
As a result, a lot of single individuals will start to doubt their living circumstances, especially if they have been living alone for a while. They may also perceive this as a failure on their part for not succeeding in finding a mate, settling down, and starting a family as others have. It is fair to assume that a large number of individuals in our Super Solos Living Alone Community deliberately desire to improve their living circumstances and relationship status, as well as to locate a spouse or companion.
That said, we want to advocate that by living alone you can succeed in life just as much as anyone else and it helps to rethink and redefine what success means to each of us.
On behalf of people living alone who have never married, settled down or had children, is it not fair to question if we place too much value on traditional lifestyles when for one reason or another, they have not happened for everyone?
Why should Solos be made to feel they haven’t succeeded in life because we have a different set of achievements?
Often, it can feel like people who are living alone are ‘up against it’, being measured or judged with traditional lifestyles, while at the same time, Solos are navigating similar challenges of everyday living, alone.
There are not many things more challenging and exciting at the same time than finding happiness and contentment in life through our own devices. And, in doing so, we can position ourselves to present our best selves to the people around us.
When Solo Living launched in 2016, no one was really talking about living alone in a positive way or in a way that recognised the millions of people who find themselves living alone either through choice or circumstance.
From our perspective, as living alone can be a lifestyle that can last longer than expected, as everyone else would do, we encourage Solos to make the best of what the living alone lifestyle has to offer.
Solos who enjoy and love living alone, take advantage of the opportunities the solo living lifestyle has to offer and persuading them that a solo life can be a good life doesn’t require much convincing! Indeed, it may take much more to persuade them to change their living situation.
While adjusting to living alone may take time, it is a lifestyle many of our Super Solos from our Facebook Living Alone Community have come to cherish.
Solo Living talks about ways to live well while living solo, and by looking after our wellbeing and living sustainably we have a potent formula for succeeding and living a good life.
We normalise the living alone experience so that Solos can feel confident and content with the way life may have unexpectedly or not turned out for them. Regardless of a person’s living situation, life is widely recognised as challenging, and we all have to try and find ways within our resources to live well and be our best selves.
Living alone through choice or circumstance
‘Living alone through choice or circumstance’, is a phrase Solo Living coined when we launched back in 2016 in recognition that there are many reasons why people across the world are living alone today.
In summary, they include, young people opting to settle down later in life and more people choosing a life of solitude. However, in the UK and possibly in the US too, although some do, most people do not choose to live alone in the long term, and find themselves solo living through circumstances; say, after divorce, a relationship breakup, being widowed, or after a traumatic event.
However, these days, the seeds for the modern living alone experience can start early in life, with young people delaying partnering up and having children when a hundred years ago it wasn’t uncommon to be married with a child by the age of 21.
Young men and women today are more likely to live on their own, with parents or in house-shares through their twenties, with more staying in education and taking advanced degrees while focussing on building their careers.
Once in their thirties, and while building careers, it can become more difficult to find the partner we want to attract as our needs, wants and expectations change; and as a result, people might find themselves living alone for longer than anticipated or planned.
At the same time, people are increasingly choosing to remain single and live alone later in life. According to one population study, women live alone two to four times more often than men.
While this can be explained by the fact that women live longer than men, (meaning more widows choose to live alone after losing their partner), some of the reasons are explained by divorce or the dissolution of a partnership. It is amongst the middle-aged that the number of people living alone is most likely to rise in the future.
Choosing a single life
In addition, our contributor, Bella DePaulo writes prolifically about people who know they want to be single throughout life and who may likely find themselves living alone as a consequence. Being single at heart and understanding that someone may not ever want a life partner is a topic she demystifies and underlines as a positive lifestyle choice.
There is no denying that as life expectancy increases, more older adults will live alone in the future. In Nordic countries such as Sweden, living alone is seen as ordinary no matter your adult age. This has evolved by fostering a culture of individualism and building a welfare state that enables people to live alone more easily with easier access to affordable housing and public services.
So, you can imagine, in countries where living alone is an accepted norm, the internal battles we might have with ourselves about whether or not we are succeeding in life because we live a misunderstood modern lifestyle might seem incomprehensible!
Will I love or hate living alone?
Will you love or hate living alone? Well, the answer to the question really lies with the individual. The factors that may influence a person’s attitude and view towards living alone and the solo living experience might depend on the following:
Personality type – Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, can affect your attitude towards living alone. While Bella identifies five types of introverts with varying degrees of preference for social interaction, the degree to which you need to be around other people, or need to spend time alone can influence your attitude towards living alone.
How comfortable you are in your own company – Do you enjoy solitude and spending time alone? Do you manage to achieve more of what you want and what needs to be done through time spent alone? The degree to which you are comfortable in your company will definitely influence your enjoyment of living alone.
The state of your mental health – Mental health is becoming a global health issue, something we are all encouraged to look after, and with support, if we need it. The more mentally resilient we are then the easier living alone will be. For many who experience, or are healing from trauma, the living alone experience can be the tonic they need to heal. Conversely, some may feel that, without others to connect with and discuss our feelings and emotions, living alone may exasperate negative emotions and feelings of isolation.
The question to ask would be, is living alone the issue? Or, is it our ability to reach out and connect with others? Do you need people around 24/7 in order to feel better? Or can you find ways to improve your mental health with the freedom that is offered through the living alone experience?
Level of social connection – Solos who are proactive in making connections and building a social life that fits in with their lifestyle needs will enjoy living alone. Inevitably, our ability to build and make social connections is linked to the three factors mentioned above.
Being able to opt-in and out of social activities as one pleases is certainly cited as an advantage of living alone. However, if you find connecting with others a difficult thing to achieve, even though it is what you want, then you may take a less than enthusiastic attitude towards living alone.
The reason why you’re living alone – This goes back to whether or not you are living alone through choice or circumstance as talked about earlier in this article. You’re more likely to enjoy living alone if you have chosen the lifestyle, whereas someone who is living alone after a breakup that wasn’t their choice may find it harder.
